Each of us has an ex in our lives—an ex-friend, ex-neighbor, ex-romantic partner, and more. While we often use the term "ex" to describe the one who broke our heart, in reality, our exes are anyone who was once in our life but no longer is. Maybe we never got closure, maybe we miss them at times—but is it truly right to let them back in? Should we reach out? In most cases, it doesn’t happen. Maybe they were only meant to be in our lives temporarily to teach us an important lesson. Maybe they turned toxic over time. Or perhaps we need to replace them with our own inner strength. And yet, there’s always the question—could there still be a chance to reconnect?
These are the messages worth considering when thinking about renewing a connection. The final decision, however, is always in our hands.
Let's choose the card that speaks to us the most: 1, 2, or 3, and see how it connects to our thoughts about reconnecting with an ex. Perhaps we’ll simply realize why it’s not advisable—or what to take into account before making a move.
Choose a Card
Card #1: Eight of Cups
The Eight of Cups belongs to the practical suit, and its overall message is to let go—just like Elsa says in Frozen. However, this kind of release doesn’t come from surrender or helplessness. Quite the opposite. Sometimes, or rather, most of the time, letting go is the only way to truly see the other person—what matters to them, their standards, and how they genuinely wish to operate in the world—even if it has nothing to do with us personally.
If someone feels responsible, guilty, or obligated to make amends, we will see and know it naturally. There's no need to invest excessive energy in educating, lecturing, attempting solutions, or reinventing the wheel.
The person in question likely knows how to fix things—if they truly wanted to. And even if they want to but are incapable, it is their personal and spiritual work to find their inner compass and their way back to our hearts and forgiveness.
In this case, we have likely tried everything. We’ve planned, attempted communication, and ended up feeling like we need some elaborate strategy to explain ourselves. But in reality, none of that likely makes much of a difference. We’ve done enough, shown openness to reconciliation, and now we simply need to move forward and achieve closure on our own.
Card #2: Queen of Wands
The Queen of Wands is one of the court cards, presenting two possibilities. On one hand, this is the most positive card in the spread, indicating a real chance to renew the relationship. What does this chance depend on? The ability to be warm and straightforward, to enjoy each other’s company without ego battles or power struggles—with emotional openness and lightness.
However, if the person in question has deeply hurt us and does not deserve to return to our lives, then it’s likely best to let them go. This queen—The Queen of Wands—does not tolerate nonsense or unfair treatment. She values self-respect.
But if there is a warm and genuine offer from the other side, with mutual respect and appreciation, then discussing a possible reconciliation could be an option (but just a discussion—not an immediate reunion or total surrender! That’s important to keep in mind).
If this person is not offering kindness and goodwill, or if it is simply not right for the situation, then the lesson here is about reclaiming our own power. We must be the "queen" (or king) in our own lives, embrace lightheartedness, regain our balance, and move on from this person. We must show ourselves confidently, be proud of who we are, and not hide behind someone else or depend on their strength. We must stand strong on our own.
If warmth and openness exist in the dynamic, a fresh start might be possible. But regardless, in this case, everything is ultimately for the best.
Card #3: Ace of Swords
The Ace of Swords belongs to the practical suit. It is sharp, cold, and swift, yet every change it brings is for the better. If the person in question did not handle things properly—if they cut ties, disappeared—this is the exact situation where we "dodged a bullet." This is the moment where we recognize that every delay is for the best and every loss is only an illusion.
With the Ace of Swords, making a clean break was likely crucial, even if we don’t fully understand the reasons behind it.
If closure is important to us, this is the time to write down everything on our hearts—but only if we genuinely don’t care what response (if any) we receive in return. In this card, good can come from difficulty, and it encourages us to stand our ground, know when to say goodbye, and, most importantly, not remain silent in the face of injustice.
What matters most in the end is lightness and moving forward.
If we still feel the urge to reach out, test the waters, or check in, it’s crucial to do so with a straightforward, honest, and transparent approach. Say what we need to say, clarify our intentions, and adopt a "yes means yes, no means no" attitude. This is not the place for tricks, manipulations, or fear of receiving an unwanted answer. It is not the place to convince ourselves that if we just wait or play the situation cleverly, we will get what we want. The approach must be direct and clear.
We deserve—out of self-respect—to receive direct and honest answers from those in our lives.
Life decisions are never simple. We don’t always have a rulebook or a set of instructions for dealing with every person and situation. Life is complex, and ultimately, our decisions must stem from our personal growth. Tarot cards can offer guidance on what to do and what not to do, but most importantly, they help us undergo a complete process so that our choices become a natural result of our own evolution.
Above all, tarot is a tool for personal growth. The cards can provide "instant" answers, and sometimes that’s wonderful, but they can also reveal deep insights and offer a glimpse into our psyche, helping us better understand our immediate surroundings.
So what’s next? You can join a life-changing course, become part of the free SOS Tarot group on Facebook to ask any question (and get answers from course graduates), or simply continue studying tarot. If you’ve made it this far, you already know tarot—this is just the beginning of your journey.
The author is Sagi Mandelbaum, director of the School for Personal Fulfillment, Tarot, and Dreams.
He is the author of the bestseller The Guide to Tarot Reading, a practitioner of classical homeopathy, and has 30 years of experience teaching courses and workshops on personal development, tarot, and dream interpretation. He teaches via Zoom, in Tel Aviv, and in various other cities across the country.
For tarot courses and more, visit Sagi's website.
"Sagi Mandelbaum | Personal Empowerment, Tarot, and Dreams" – Follow Sagi on Instagram.