Fallen but Not Forgotten: The Legacies of IDF Soldiers Zechariah Haber and Lior Ben Yaakov

The IDF Widows and Orphans Organization has supported bereaved families for decades. After October 7, the work of the organization is more crucial than ever.

 LIOR BEN YAAKOV with his wife, Revital, and their children on a family trip to Vienna a year before the war. After his army service, Lior had worked as a security guard for the Viennese Jewish community for a year and a half, dreaming of taking his kids there one day. ‘We’re lucky we managed to do  (photo credit: Courtesy the families)
LIOR BEN YAAKOV with his wife, Revital, and their children on a family trip to Vienna a year before the war. After his army service, Lior had worked as a security guard for the Viennese Jewish community for a year and a half, dreaming of taking his kids there one day. ‘We’re lucky we managed to do
(photo credit: Courtesy the families)

On January 16, St.-Sgt.-Maj. (res.) Zechariah Pesach Haber of the 14th Armored Brigade’s 87th Battalion fell in battle in the northern Gaza Strip. The above dry description designates his unit and military rank, but the 32-year-old Jerusalem resident was best known to his family, friends, and academic colleagues for his intellectual prowess and kind and gentle nature.

“He was genuinely brilliant,” says Talia Haber, describing her late husband, who was completing his PhD studies at Tel Aviv University in plant sciences, was fluent in numerous languages, including Amharic, Russian, and Arabic, and was a graduate of Yeshivat Har Etzion in Alon Shvut. 

ZECHARIAH PESACH HABER and his wife, Talia, at the Kotel on their wedding day, 2017 (Credit: Courtesy the families)
ZECHARIAH PESACH HABER and his wife, Talia, at the Kotel on their wedding day, 2017 (Credit: Courtesy the families)

“He had so many side projects,” says Talia wistfully. “In his PhD, he had multiple publications listed, far more than most doctoral students.” It was only at the shiva that she learned about the 1,000-page encyclopedia of the Talmud that he had written after he had completed his army service and returned to his yeshiva studies. 

Zechariah made aliyah with his family when he was eight years old. Talia met Zechariah met two months after she made aliyah, via a WhatsApp group that matches English-speaking singles in Israel. After receiving a bachelor’s and master’s degree in plant science from Hebrew University’s Faculty of Agriculture in Rehovot, Zechariah continued his studies at Tel Aviv University, where he was completing his PhD in plant science and food security, focusing on growing wheat in drought conditions. 

In his research, explains Talia, Zechariah had identified the gene responsible for increasing the seed size of wheat, adding that his doctoral degree will hopefully be awarded posthumously within the next month. 

Talia captures her late husband’s warm nature when she describes one of their visits to New Hampshire. Zechariah would frequently work remotely from the local McDonald’s, where he would order a kosher drink and spend hours working, sitting in a booth in the restaurant. At the end of the summer, she says, Zechariah purchased gifts for the restaurant staff. “He knew them. He could tell you their story. He could tell you where they were from and what they liked.”

With his linguistic skills and keen intellect, Zechariah could have served in the IDF’s intelligence units but chose instead to become a combat soldier. Talia recalls, “He said, ‘If everyone who is bright goes into the IDF intelligence units, who will go into the combat units?’ He chose to go into a combat unit because of that.” 

Though Zechariah completed his regular military service as a tank commander, when he returned to the reserves he said that he wanted to be the loader of the tank. “He didn’t like being above people,” says Talia. “Zechariah didn’t want to be a commander. He didn’t like the idea that there’s a distance between you and other people. Whether it was a special needs person, whether it was children, whether it was the person who pumped the gas in New Jersey, whether it was a cashier in the supermarket downstairs, he never felt above them.” Talia notes that many of these “forgotten” people attended the shiva.

Before Passover, Talia and the three children – all under the age of five – went to a camp organized by the IDF Widows and Orphans Organization (IDFWO) in Kfar Nokdim. On the one hand, Talia, who says she is not quite fluent in Hebrew and is somewhat uncomfortable with Israeli culture, feels a bit apart from native Israelis. However, as the widow of a fallen IDF soldier, she is in the most Israeli position of all. 

Despite the difficulties, she and her children greatly enjoyed the camp. “My kids are usually singled out for their situation,” she remarks. “It’s nice to be somewhere where they’re not singled out, and we’re not the only ones. It’s very powerful to realize you’re not alone.”

ON OCT. 7, Lior Ben Yaakov, the assistant security coordinator of Moshav Yesha, located in the Arava, was killed by Hamas terrorists while defending neighboring Moshav Mivtahim. Lior, who headed a company that developed products used in emergency medicine, grew up in Beersheba and the nearby town of Lehavim.

Studying at Bar-Ilan University, Lior met his wife, Revital, while she was a student at Ben-Gurion University. After they married, the couple moved to Yesha, where Revital had grown up. “Lior really fell in love with the place,” says Revital. “He became very involved in daily life in the moshav, served as the chair of the community association in Yesha, and worked with children and seniors.”

Early on the morning of Oct. 7, Hamas terrorists attempted to enter Moshav Mivtahim, which adjoins Yesha. The security coordinator of Yesha was on a family trip outside Israel, leaving Lior and another resident of the moshav as the two members of the security squad, together with an IDF soldier who was visiting the moshav. 

The members of the Yesha security team and the vacationing soldier joined the two-man security team of Moshav Mivtahim to thwart the efforts of the Hamas terrorists, who tried to take over Mivtahim. Lior left the family home at 7:00 that morning, while Revital and their children – Ella, 14, Ziv, 12, and Itamar, 9 – hid in the safe room of their home. 

The terrorists vastly outnumbered the five men who defended Moshav Mivtahim. Lior and the others were killed that morning at approximately 8:30 a.m., just a few steps from Lior’s home. Though they succumbed, the heroism of the moshav’s defenders deterred the terrorists, who fled the moshav after the fierce battle.

Revital and her children remained in their safe room until midnight, when they learned of Lior’s death. Lior was buried next to Tal Maman, a friend from Moshav Mivtahim, who served on the moshav’s security team and was married to Revital’s cousin Anat. In their grief, Revital’s and Anat’s children formed a WhatsApp group called “We are all orphans together.” “They felt that no one understood them,” says Revital.

Revital and her children, together with Anat and her children, are currently living on Moshav Hatzeva in the Arava. Revital, Ella, Ziv, and Itamar visit their home in Yesha occasionally on weekends. Will they ever return to their home? “The heart says yes,” says Revital, “but the head is not certain. We very much want to be able to return, but there are concerns, especially after what happened.”

Soon after Lior’s death, the IDF Widows and Orphans Organization contacted Revital. “They were very sensitive,” she says, and notes that many in the organization have experienced similar loss. Revital and the children attended the pre-Passover Otzma camp at Kfar Nokdim. Like Talia Haber, she says it was a great success. “The kids don’t need to explain anything to anyone at the camp, and they don’t have to be afraid that someone will ask them and they won’t know what to say. You see how many others are like you,” she says. 

“For me,” adds Revital, “it was freeing. They invested a great deal so that we would have a good time.” The organizers hosted discussion groups for the women, took them to a spa, and provided a musical performance. “We realized that we needed these things. We had forgotten about them,” says Revital with a smile.

This summer, Ella will be going on the IDFWO’s bar/bat mitzvah trip to the US and Canada, and Ziv plans to go the following year. “Their events give us strength and help us feel less alone.”

On Sunday evening, May 12, The Jerusalem Post, the Museum of Tolerance Jerusalem, and the IDFWO will hold a ceremony marking Remembrance Day for members of Israel’s English-speaking community, honoring fallen soldiers and victims of terror since the Oct. 7 Hamas attacks. 

The event will feature families of soldiers who fell in the battles in the Gaza Strip since Oct. 7 and will be broadcast live on the Jerusalem Post website. 

The IDFWO is an Israeli nonprofit dedicated to supporting the spouses and children of Israel’s fallen soldiers and members of the security forces. 

This article was written in cooperation with the IDF Widows & Orphans Organization.