American-Israeli Rachel Goldberg-Polin considered herself and her family to be living the lives of “very normal, regular people” before the October 7 Hamas attacks in 2023, in which her eldest child, Hersh, 23, was kidnapped, tortured, starved – and later murdered by the terrorist group in August after being held captive for 328 days.
After Hersh’s kidnapping from the Supernova music festival on October 7, Goldberg-Polin became one of the most prominent figures fighting for the return of the hostages, as she immersed herself fully in the battle to bring her son home, along with all those held captive.
In honor of International Women’s Day on Saturday, The Jerusalem Post sat down with Goldberg-Polin to hear about who she was before October 7, along with how she rose and met such unbelievable challenges in the aftermath of the day.
In her time of advocacy, Goldberg-Polin’s voice transcended borders as she rose to convey her message in front of international audiences, attending rallies, speaking at the UN, and meeting with various world leaders. She was among those chosen for the 2024 Time 100 list of most influential people.
Now, just over six months after Hersh’s murder, Goldberg-Polin, along with her husband, Jon Polin, continue to advocate for the return of the remaining hostages still held captive by Hamas.
Yet, to Goldberg-Polin, becoming who she was after October 7 and rising to move forward in the face of hardship “wasn’t a choice.”
“We were thrust into disaster,” she explained, while emphasizing her belief that most people faced with any significant challenge in their lives would act as she did.
“I think most people who have any challenge in their life – it could be death; it could be a sudden divorce... or the loss of a child in an accident – everything changes in a second, and there isn’t choice involved. It’s just human, natural reflex to go forward, or go curvy, but to go," she said.
When asked whether she felt afraid to suddenly be thrust into a position of speaking on a global stage, Goldberg-Polin said that this was not the case.
“There was no thought process in terms of trying to save Hersh and as many hostages as possible,” she stated.
In the days immediately after October 7, Goldberg-Polin spoke at the UN for the first time. “It was so fresh. We literally had not slept,” she recounted and explained how she wrote her speech on the plane, with hardly any time to read it over.
“I remember even then thinking, this probably won’t go very well because I’m probably going to be very nervous,” Goldberg-Polin said. But this wasn’t what occurred. “I got up [on stage], and I thought, I am fighting for the life of my only son – there was no fear,” she said.
“I think [that] when you’re so scared, and it’s a life and death situation, there’s no room for nervous,” she reflected.
However, Goldberg-Polin recalled an instance where she did feel nervous to speak publicly – before the Democratic National Convention in August, which took place in Chicago the week before Hersh’s murder.
“We were nervous because we were told that we were going to be attacked. And that we were coming into a room filled with hate and with anger and with adversarialism. So, for that, I was nervous of what the response would be when we walked out. I wasn’t nervous about what I was going to say," she said.
"And that's why, when we walked out and people were so embracing and so remarkably supportive in their reception of us, it blew me away, and I started to cry," she continued.
“Because, normally, I think a lot of me is so broken that I don’t behave like a normal person,” she added. “And that was a real human moment of me putting my head down on the podium and starting to cry because I couldn’t believe that there were people who were chanting ‘Bring them home.’”
Goldberg-Polin also said that it was “not in her personality” to speak in front of such large audiences without feeling fear during her life ahead of October 7, which she refers to as “The Before.”
“I would have done it, but I would have been scared, nervous, and hesitant,” she explained.
“But now, I don’t feel that. I think that I’ve been so thoroughly and completely traumatized and terrorized that I don’t have those fears anymore,” she added.
Goldberg-Polin also reflected that this shift in personality only emphasized a further sense of loss imparted to her, admitting, “That’s another thing that was taken from me – who I naturally was.”
Goldberg-Polin's life in 'The Before'
Goldberg-Polin’s life before October 7 began in Chicago, where she was born and raised. She grew up in a nonobservant household that was Zionistic and embraced a strong feeling of connection to Israel. Despite her family being nonobservant, she received a Jewish education, allowing her to become exposed to a life of Judaism.
“It was extremely beautiful, meaningful, and compelling for me,” she noted regarding her newfound connection to Judaism at the time. “Already at 13 or 14 years old, I started to take on things like Shabbat, keeping kosher out of the house, and praying.”
Following high school, Goldberg-Polin took a gap year, in which she traveled to Israel, before she continued to pursue a degree at Brandeis University.
In her junior year, she studied at Melbourne University. After she completed her degree, she started a master’s program in New York while also studying at a seminary for women.
“I was waitressing, just kind of making my way as a 21-year-old in Manhattan,” she explained, describing that stage in her life.
“Then the following summer, I discovered that I had a hunger to learn more. I came to Israel to the Pardes Institute [of Jewish Studies] for what was supposed to be a six-week program. I ended up staying there for five years," she said.
During that time in Israel, she "remet" Jon, with whom she had previously attended high school in Chicago.
“We got married here [in Israel], and yet, neither of us had made aliyah,” she explained, adding that she didn’t feel ready yet to make the official move to the country.
“We were young and didn’t have kids or a mortgage. So, we thought – now’s the time, if we’re ever going to go do an adventure." With that sentiment in mind, she and Jon chose to move to Berkeley, California, based on a friend's recommendation and due to their love of exploring nature and the outdoors. Later, the family relocated to Richmond, Virginia, and connected deeply to the community there.
Following ten years in the US, in which Hersh and his two sisters were born, Goldberg-Polin recounted a moment, which felt like an “epiphany” one evening, that pushed her and the family to make aliyah.
“I suddenly realized that we had a really nice, easy life and a beautiful community. And I realized, if we don’t try to come to Israel now, we were going to accidentally wake up and never try,” she said.
Goldberg-Polin continued to work as an educator in Israel, which was her profession when she lived in the US. She specifically taught Jewish education and also worked with youth as a Learning Specialist, helping students “who needed just a little extra support in different ways.”
The family embraced Jewish tradition in the home and placed a special emphasis on spending Shabbat and the holidays together. Each week, they would walk together to their synagogue, which was located 20 minutes away.
Goldberg-Polin described the family walk to synagogue on Friday night as “the high” of her week. “We would have this really precious, cherished time, this walk where no one had phones. We had just lit candles. Everyone was in crazy panic right before [Shabbat came in], and then we would leave the house, and for 20 minutes there was this easy conversation.”
Goldberg-Polin expanded on her perspective of balancing between being a spiritual, God-believing person and engaging in religious practice.
“I think that it should be hard to find the balance,” she said. “I think that that means you’re thinking, that you’re not falling into habits, and that you’re not doing things without real thought.”
“I think if you aren’t grappling and struggling, you're not really pushing yourself," she continues.
“We are conditioned to think of the word ‘struggle’ as something negative. I actually think of struggle as a challenge for growth. And so, for me, being religious and being spiritual and also not just locked in my community and my echo chamber push me to keep growing and to keep acknowledging that there’s so much more to learn and to digest and to understand, so much more room to become who we're supposed to be."
Goldberg-Polin's life in 'The After'
During her eulogy at Hersh’s funeral, Goldberg-Polin openly expressed her gratitude toward God for being “privileged to have the most stunning honor to be Hersh’s mama.”
In the aftermath of Hersh’s murder, Goldberg-Polin has remained grateful, embracing the words of American Rabbi Harold Kushner, who also lost his son.
“Rabbi Kushner really taught this art of how to continue to walk forward and see the good in the world when you’ve had a huge hit,” she said, recounting that she had once heard him say that his favorite verse from the Bible was in Psalm 23: “My cup overflows.” “This idea of I am blessed,” she explained.
“I cannot help but acknowledge that I feel, even today, I am blessed,” Goldberg-Polin continued.
“I had this beautiful – I don’t know how to describe Hersh in words – but this precious, gorgeous gem. And even if he’s not here now, I had that for so long, and I’m so thankful for it. I know plenty of people who have two children, who are really happy and fulfilled and satisfied and blessed. And that could have been us. But we had three. And so, I am grateful.”
Goldberg-Polin expressed the large impact that prayer has had on her life. “I also pray every day,” she said. “I think prayer is a very good way to remind you what you aspire to believe in, and what you hold dear and value. The basis of prayer is giving thanks.
“And even when it’s hard, it’s actually very helpful to realize, gosh, wait a minute, I can see.
“And so, I acknowledge I am broken – and I am not normal, and I’m not okay, and I’m trying very hard to build up the strength to be able to carry this extremely heavy blow. But I am still aware that I am lucky and blessed,” she emphasized.
Goldberg-Polin also expressed her gratitude toward the people in her life. “I have so much. I have two vivacious, dynamic, wonderful daughters. I have a partner in Jon. That is the most unbelievable gift that God gave me. I don’t know how you can walk through something like this without a partner like what I have.
“I have friends who would do anything in the world for me. I have family that would do anything in the world for me. That is not to be taken for granted or taken lightly. That is to be taken with acknowledgment,” she continued.
Now, six months on, Goldberg-Polin embraces the quote, attributed to Winston Churchill, “If you’re going through hell, keep going,” along with American poet Robert Frost’s similar message, “the best way out is always through.” “I say it a lot to myself,” Goldberg-Polin admitted, “Don’t stop. There’s this very fine line between being hopeful and falling into despair. And if you stop, I think that despair is like quicksand.”
However, Goldberg-Polin also emphasized the challenges in moving forward, especially as hostages continue to be held in Hamas captivity.
“We’re realizing that until we get these hostages home, we are not really able to keep going, because we feel pinned under this trauma that is continuing to unfold.”
Referring to the mothers of the hostages still in captivity, she said, “I don’t want any other mother to be like me, which is a really strange thing to say.”
Yet, she added that such a thought makes it motivating to keep “trying so desperately to do what we can, in our small way, to help.”
Speaking on her healing, Goldberg-Polin mentioned a woman on her team named Dalia, who also works as a social worker, who told her, “Healing is not linear. It's curvy."
“I take what Dalia said. I’m often saying to myself, it’s okay to be moving, even if it’s moving and then taking a step forward, a step back. Knowing that the healing sometimes goes backwards is part of what helps you feel that you’re doing it right, that you’re going backwards and it’s okay,” she added.
Goldberg-Polin admitted that she and her family are still dealing with navigating what lies ahead for them in the future, as they continue to venture into uncharted territory after the loss of Hersh and stand in a “very different, specific situation.”
“I’m not saying the situation is better or worse than anyone else’s, but it’s a confusing place to be,” she said.
“And I’m okay with that. I’m okay with acknowledging this is confusing and that nobody really knows what the way forward is,” she continued.
“We just know – I know and feel strongly – there is light ahead. And we're going toward that."