The heartbreak that engulfed all of Israel yesterday with the burial of slain hostages Shiri, Kfir, and Ariel Bibas, succeeded, against what seemed like the impossible, to pierce new holes in the hearts of Jews, Israelis, and allies worldwide.
This normative, private family overnight became a symbol, to Israelis and to the world, of senseless brutality.
Shiri’s family, the Silvermans, lost three generations to this brutality. Shiri’s parents, Margitte and Yossi Silverman, were killed on October 7. The two, both from South America, moved to Kibbutz Nir Oz and had two daughters: Shiri and Dana, and became part of the fabric of the community.
Three generations murdered within the span of a few weeks; that is the tragedy that Dana, Yarden Bibas, and Ofri Bibas Levy, and the extended family are dealing with. Because at its most basic and elementary level, this tragedy belongs to the private family unit; it’s not their fault, nor was it their choice, to become the global symbol that they became.
But they did, and the level and extent of support, love, and solidarity that Israelis flung at the family in response is a silver lining in all of this horror.
Thousands of Israelis waved flags on the sides of highways in the South, gathered at Hostage Square in Tel Aviv, and lined streets and lit orange balloons in cities all across Israel to bid a final farewell to the three Bibases.
Absent by request
Notably absent on Wednesday were Israel’s leaders, though those who were present were there as individual citizens, not as representatives of the state.
The reason that no leaders were present was at the request by the family. Ofri didn’t shy away from criticizing the leaders her family requested not show their faces yesterday.
“Many people ask for your forgiveness, and Yarden’s, and ours. But the blame is not on them. This disaster should not have happened. You should not have been taken, and you should have returned alive,” she said.
“There is no meaning to forgiveness before the failures are investigated, and all officials take responsibility. Our disaster as a nation and as a family should not have happened and must never happen again. They could have saved you but preferred revenge,” she added.
This might be the saddest part of the saga; even those who might support the government’s leadership in other respects cannot ignore the nauseating manner in which hostage families have been treated.
Critics will say that government officials couldn’t come because the family didn’t invite them, but the time to show solidarity with hostages and hostage families was at any time before this week. Taking responsibility, visiting the communities that were violated and attacked on October 7, and being in meaningful, sensitive and respectful contact with the families – those gestures should have begun on October 7 itself. Over 500 days after the disaster, the political echelon has paid hostage families minimal attention at best, and negative attention at worst. It is both understandable and valid for the family to not want any government members at the funeral.
Freed hostage Sagui Dekel-Chen, who was released last Sunday, spoke earlier this week with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, and invited him to “put the politics aside,” act in a professional manner, and also, according to reports, to come visit Kibbutz Nir Oz, which lost a fourth of its community on October 7.
Dekel-Chen reiterated to the prime minister that the only thing that will bring true victory and “restore love to the streets” is bringing the hostages home.
The conversation was in good spirits and had a sense of mutual understanding, and Netanyahu said he wants to bring all the hostages home. Dekel-Chen said that during his time in captivity, he believed that the government acted in his best interests, and requested that this continue.
The hole that Israeli leadership is in is one that it dug for itself. It started with the protests for and against the judicial reforms, but was especially pronounced when it was silent on October 7. The leadership was silent for too long after, and completely missed the proper tone regarding the hostages.
After the war, we’d expect all those responsible for these failures to take responsibility and step out of Israeli public life. A new generation of leaders is what we need to rebuild our country, and to rebuild our nation.