Last week, The Wall Street Journal ran the thought-provoking article “What Happens When a Whole Generation Never Grows Up.” It delved into the plight of young people struggling to meet the milestones of adulthood. As I read it, my thoughts drifted closer to home – to our own haredi community. What happens when an entire community, not just a generation, never grows up?
Let’s start with history. The Holocaust didn’t just devastate Jewish communities; it shattered them, leaving fragments of what once was. Haredi communities bore the brunt of this unimaginable destruction. When the tattered remnants of these communities made their way to Israel, they were given an incubator of sorts.
Think of it as a neonatal ICU for a people and their way of life: a carefully controlled environment to nurture their recovery, protect their fragility, and allow them time to rebuild.
And rebuild they did – spectacularly. Today, the haredi community in Israel is flourishing. Their population has grown exponentially, their institutions are thriving, and their schools and yeshivas are bursting at the seams.
If the goal was to ensure survival, the mission has been accomplished, with Divine assistance and significant help from the State of Israel.
The question now is: When will the haredi community say, “Thank you, we’re ready to stand on our own?” When will they step out of the incubator and into full civic participation?
Arrested development
As the Wall Street Journal article points out, arrested development isn’t always a matter of choice. External crises – a pandemic, an economic meltdown, or in this case, the Holocaust – can leave scars that take generations to heal.
For haredim, the trauma of World War II wiped out their support systems and institutions. Yet, even in those dark times, individual haredim displayed remarkable resilience. Many fought bravely in Israel’s War of Independence, proving that even in the face of horror, they could rise to the occasion as adults.
BUT ARRESTED development can also be internal, born of dependency and fear. There’s something undeniably comforting about staying in a cocoon. It’s warm, predictable, and free from the risks of the outside world. After all, as a friend’s grandfather once quipped, “If you don’t go into the water, you’ll never drown.” True. But you’ll never learn to swim either.
And swimming, as it happens, is a Jewish imperative. According to the Talmud (Kiddushin 29a), one of a parent’s obligations is to teach their children to swim. Yes, alongside circumcision, Torah study, and finding a trade, swimming makes the cut.
Why? Because the world is dangerous, and survival requires strength, skills, and the confidence to face uncertainty. It’s a lesson the haredi community can and should take to heart. They have the strength. They can acquire the skills. It’s time to trust themselves enough to take the plunge.
THE REST OF Israel thinks the haredi community is ready. A recent poll found that an overwhelming 84.5% of Israelis support drafting haredim into the military, just like everyone else.
This isn’t just a popular idea; it’s a national necessity. The country needs all hands on deck, and after decades of special protections and exemptions, the haredi community is more than capable of stepping up.
So why don’t they? Why, after all this time, are they still stuck in a state of arrested development?
For the answer, we turn to the wisdom of Woody Allen. In Annie Hall, Allen recounts an old joke:
“A guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office and says, ‘Doc, my brother’s crazy! He thinks he’s a chicken.’ The doctor says, ‘Why don’t you turn him in?’ The guy replies, ‘I would, but I need the eggs.’”
And there it is. The haredi community’s dependency – and our tolerance of it – is a co-dependent relationship. The haredim remain in their bubble because they find it safer and less risky. The rest of Israel tolerates this because, for all the frustration, there are benefits to having a vibrant haredi world.
The eggs, so to speak, are their contributions to Jewish continuity, spirituality, and the rich tapestry of Israeli society. And most of all, their votes sustain the current government.
But at some point, we need to ask: Do we really still need the eggs? Or is it time to encourage our haredi brothers and sisters to step out of their protective bubble, embrace full civic responsibility, and contribute to the collective good – not just for their sake, but for the benefit of the entire nation? It’s a tough question, but one we can no longer avoid.
Because if we truly want a whole and united Israel, we’ll need everyone, haredi and secular alike, swimming together in the same waters. Yes, it’s risky. Yes, it’s scary. But it’s also the only way forward.
The writer, a PhD, is a psychologist, a Van Leer Institute Library fellow, and host of the podcast, The Van Leer Institute Series on Ideas.