The imminent and long-awaited return of our hostages, and at least a temporary cessation of this brutal war, brings with it multiple challenges.
Without diminishing the joy of the hostage families or addressing the controversy over the high price paid for their release, the hostages and their family members have a long recovery ahead of them. So does everyone affected by this war: the bereaved family members, survivors, victims, soldiers, and even citizens.
No one can go back to normal life as if nothing happened. Many will require years of therapy and treatments, probably for a lifetime. Although we are a resilient people, we have been shaken to our core. We are a nation of amputees – literally and figuratively – with the loss of a loved one as painful as the loss of a limb.
With so much suffering in our nation, how can we even begin to heal or restore our society? Is “restore” even appropriate? It implies that things will go back to the way they were. But life won’t simply return to the way it was.
This is neither possible nor a good idea. It’s precisely what we don’t want.
Life before the war
TO MOVE forward, we have to examine life before the war. Pre-October 7, our society was highly polarized, as large-scale protests and social unrest rattled the nation in response to the contentious judicial reform proposals, with both sides going head-to-head. We were so at war against each other, caught up in our fury and demands, that we completely missed the signs of the ominous attack.
Since the war broke out, we have seen a more united nation that has put aside its differences, coming together in the name of solidarity and the relentless fight against our enemies. Countless nonprofits and charities have emerged. There are abundant volunteering opportunities and war-support efforts.
But it is not enough when considering the extreme trauma our nation has endured and continues to suffer.
How can we even consider the possibility of healing – recovering – after everything we have been through? Is it possible? How do we comfort those who have been to hell and back, whose faith in humanity and life has been (irreversibly) shattered?
Restoration or recovery isn’t just about returning to the same place where we were. It’s too late for that. It’s about healing holistically – physically, mentally, and psychologically. Thankfully, there are many organizations and nonprofits that offer holistic treatments and grief counseling to soldiers and bereaved individuals suffering from PTSD and other trauma-related difficulties.
BUT IT’S NOT so simple. Healing doesn’t have a timeline; everyone’s recovery is different. We need time and space to heal, whether through therapy, grief counseling, music, art, or travel.
It is paramount that our support efforts and contributions continue. This is precisely when those most affected will need the most support.
Now, as the hostages return home, their mental and physical states are very fragile. During these incredibly vulnerable moments, and the hostages’ long-awaited reunions with their loved ones, being supportive means giving these families the privacy that they need to heal, without the media’s intrusive prying. These families have been through enough. Let them rejoice and heal in peace.
Being supportive also means being sensitive toward each family, even if you don’t personally agree with the ceasefire deal. Now is not the time to protest.
There are no words to comfort someone who has been to hell and back. As with grief, there is nothing that we can say to take someone’s pain away, no matter how much we want to. All we can do is offer a hug, a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on – and for just one moment, put logic and rationale aside, and be present.
To repair or heal our society, (and break the cycle of generational trauma) we have to subdue our egos and pride and do better – collectively, and individually – in honor of those who have fallen.
Certainly, our government has to do better. This means acting in the best interests of the people, putting integrity, and humanitarian moral obligations before and above any political agenda. Better means listening to the warnings of our soldiers and reinforcing security measures. The government also has to redouble its advocacy efforts and combat media misinformation.
But let us not put all the responsibility on our leaders. The time will come to hold those responsible for October 7 accountable and conduct the necessary probes and investigations. For now, our focus should be on the hostages and those who have suffered the most.
Everyone can do something. Instead of “restoring” our nation, let’s repair and refine it. Let those who have fallen not die in vain, as we continue volunteering, donating funds, engaging in advocacy, joining the army, or even being a shoulder to lean on. Let’s do better.
The writer is a copy editor at The Jerusalem Post. She is a native of London, now living in Jerusalem.