As someone who works in the preventative health field, it’s easy to get mired in diet and exercise as being the answer to all that ails us. And while those are two very important and even essential behaviors that must be addressed, there are other aspects in preventative and curative health that weigh heavily on our health outcomes. Everyone already understands that substance abuse, whether cigarettes, alcohol, or narcotics, is harmful both in the short and long term.
There is certainly a much better awareness that seven hours or more of good quality sleep is vital to both our physical and mental health. And hopefully, as stressed-out as we all may be, we find ways to manage and control our stress.
But there is something else – and study after study has shown just how important it is. Call it interpersonal relationships, social connectiveness, or as Dr. Dean Ornish calls it, loving more. It plays a huge role in every aspect of our health.
The world has changed
There has been an upheaval in societal norms over the last three decades. Growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, social contact was the norm. During recess at school or after school, you got together with friends and played sports or board games. Even if you were a TV watcher, you did it together with friends and family. Weekends were about getting together with family, and vacations were a special event. If you needed to or wanted to speak to someone, you spoke on the telephone.
Summertime featured picnics or going to the beach. For the vast majority of humankind, social integration was built into your life.
But now, we live in a world where text messaging, Facebook, and the internet often takes precedence over face-to-face interaction. These changes are taking a terrible toll on our health.
Although most people identify Dr. Ornish for his fantastic research on reversing heart disease with lifestyle interventions, he is also well known for his emphasis on controlling stress and loving more. In one of his older books, Love and Survival, he pointed to hundreds of studies (since then it’s thousands) showing that people who feel lonely, depressed and isolated are three to ten times more likely to get sick and die prematurely. The opposite was found in those with good connection and community.
In his latest book, Undo It!, he sites that today, a third of people in industrialized countries are lonely and 40% of adults in the United States report feeling that way. Suicide rates have increased by 25% in the past 20 years. Loneliness isn’t just a bad feeling. It causes an overreaction to the sympathetic nervous system, and inflammation, which is enemy No. 1 to healthy living.
Social media’s downside
Since 1985, the number of people saying they have no close friends has tripled. Facebook may have 2 billion users and each one has “friends” – sometimes thousands. But Facebook, or other social media platforms are not places where true social connectiveness and real intimacy exists. As Ornish states, “the technology that was supposed to bring us together isolates us further.” Lack of social skills, addiction to the platform, and cyberbullying and harassment are all too common. It can distract us from important and essential tasks and negatively impact our sleep habits.”
Help with healing
Good social integration has a very positive effect on our physical health as well as our mental well-being. There are 15 randomized controlled studies of people with cancer indicating that effective psychosocial support increased the length and quality of their life. One trial showed that women with metastatic breast cancer who went to a weekly support group for one year lived twice as long as those who did not.
Psychologist Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad’s findings show that people who are more socially connected can live longer. They are at reduced risk for earlier death from all causes, including cardiovascular disease. Other research shows that having poor social relationships is associated with a 29% increased risk for coronary heart disease and a 32% increased risk for stroke.
There is also a growing body of research that suggests social isolation may increase inflammation, raise blood pressure, increase stress, and make it harder to get good sleep and stay physically active. All of this may contribute to cardiovascular disease. This is even true of heart failure. A study done in 2023 in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology showed that both social isolation and loneliness are associated with higher rates of heart failure.
Vivek Murthy, the former US surgeon general, warns that the negative health impacts of chronic loneliness are comparable to some of the nation’s biggest killers. “The overall mortality increase that can be related to social disconnection is comparable to the mortality impact of smoking and obesity,” he says.
Dr. Saray Stancic in her book What’s Missing From Medicine, points out that in the Blue Zones – geographical areas where people tend to live significantly longer and healthier lives, often exceeding 100 years – social connections benefit their above average health and longevity (see my article at jpost.1eye.us, “What we can learn from Blue Zones: A simple, affordable path to a healthier life,” February 27, 2025).
In Okinawa, groups of friends who are not related get together weekly and stay devoted to taking care of each other for life. Parents and grandparents often live in the same home. Also in these zones, the elders teach the next generations and are treated with great respect. These are all factors that contribute to their extended longevity.
How does Israel fare?
Every year, the World Happiness Report is released, ranking countries’ happiness based on many different criteria. Even in this time of war, Israel still makes the top ten. However, it is worrisome that over the last two reports, Israel dropped from #5 in the world to #8. There was also an incremental drop in life expectancy. Compared to most of the world, we here in Israel are doing really great, but we must be cautious and not fall into the traps presented to us daily in modern living. Your smartphone isn’t your best friend.
The power of a hug
It’s free and hugs are very medicinal. Many studies have shown they reduce stress, can enhance cardiovascular health, lower blood pressure, and make you happy. We have a chemical in our body whose levels rise when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone else. Oxytocin is associated with happiness and less stress. One study found that the positive benefits of oxytocin were strongest in women who had better relationships and more frequent hugs. Women also saw positive effects of oxytocin when they held their infants closely.
What’s the recommended dose? The more the better – and the basic rule is that too many hugs are better than not enough.
All aspects of lifestyle medicine are integral to good health and a long and productive life. We can’t get stuck on just one or two of them. By making sure that social connectiveness is part of our everyday lives, you will “add hours to your days, days to your years, and years to your lives.”
The writer is a wellness coach and personal trainer with more than 25 years of professional experience. He is a member of the International Council of the True Health Initiative, on the board of Kosher Plant Based, and director of The Wellness Clinic. alan@alanfitness.com