Reconciliation. The word feels jarring after October 7. It evokes images of making amends, of restoring harmony. But how can anything be "made good" after the horrors inflicted that day: the murder of children, the slaughter of families, the sexual violence, the kidnapping of civilians?
The Hamas-led attack was not war. It was an act of barbarism. Over 1,200 Israelis, mostly civilians, were murdered in brutal ways, according to investigations by Israel’s Foreign Ministry and the Israel Defense Forces.
Post-mortem examinations and forensic evidence confirmed systematic sexual assault. Elderly Holocaust survivors were taken hostage. Children were killed in front of their parents.
Fragile hope shattered
What made it even more gut-wrenching was the open celebration by some Palestinians. Videos showed people in Gaza handing out sweets, waving flags, and praising Hamas. A poll by the Palestinian Center for Policy and Survey Research indicated that 72% of Palestinians supported the attack.
These images are now etched into the Israeli psyche. They shattered the already fragile hope for peace. Yet however difficult it may be, Israel must still grapple with a painful question: Is reconciliation possible after this? The alternative is an unending cycle of violence.
We aren't starting from a clean slate. Years of rocket fire, suicide bombings, and tunnels have created a deep divide.
But October 7 was different. It was intentional cruelty disguised as resistance, made worse by silence from, or even celebrated by, too many Palestinians. That silence carries a heavy moral weight.. That silence carries a heavy moral weight.
How can a nation reconcile with those who committed – or applauded – such atrocities? First, reconciliation doesn't mean forgetting. It doesn't mean pretending the horrors didn't happen or excusing the barbarism of Hamas and its supporters. Israelis cannot be expected to suppress their grief or anger. Justice must be served.
The security cabinet’s recent decision to occupy Gaza appears to be a statement against reconciliation, but maybe it is not. Clearly, it cannot be completely ruled out. If the goal is not just retribution, but preventing future atrocities, then something more profound must follow the military campaign. Otherwise, Israel may win this battle but lose any chance at a sustainable future.
Aspiring to life
This isn't about being naïve; it's about survival, both physical and moral. Reconciliation, in this context, is not about embracing those who hate Israel. It's about fostering an environment where hatred can no longer flourish, where Palestinian children are taught to aspire to life, not death, and are given hope, instead of martyrdom.
Military action is essential. Israel has the right – the duty – to defend itself decisively. Hamas must be dismantled. But military force alone cannot address the fundamental question of what will fill the void once the fighting stops. Bulldozers can destroy terror tunnels, but they cannot rebuild trust.
Perhaps the IDF’s role should extend beyond defeating the enemy to safeguarding a potential future. Imagine if Israel's strength lay not only in its military might but also in its moral leadership: assisting in the reconstruction of Gaza’s civilian infrastructure – not for Hamas, but for the people who have suffered under its rule. This would not be an act of weakness but of strength.
Palestinians, too, face a crucial decision. Will their future be with Hamas or against it? With barbarism or with civilization?
More than gestures
They must confront the inhumanity committed in their name. They must ask themselves: What have we become when we celebrate the murder of children? Reconciliation requires a Palestinian moral reckoning. It must be genuine – not mere diplomatic gestures or strategic compromises but a real rejection of hatred and an acknowledgment of guilt.
Only then can Israelis begin to consider trust again.
Reconciliation, if it ever comes, won't be a staged event on the White House lawn. It will be subtle and personal: a former combatant choosing restraint over revenge, a parent on either side teaching their child that there is another way.
These actions won't erase the memory of October 7, but they might prevent future horrors. So, yes, even after such barbarism, Israel must ask the question: What will fill the void once the fighting stops? Not to excuse or forget but because the alternative is endless conflict. It is a question Israel cannot avoid because of who we, as humans, must choose to be.
Reconciliation isn’t a gift. It’s earned through truth, accountability, and dignity.
Dr. Michael J Salamon is a psychologist who specializes in trauma and abuse, director of ADC Psychological Services in Netanya and Hewlett, NY, and on staff at Northwell, New Hyde Park, NY.
Louis Libin is an expert in military strategies and innovation and advises and teaches military innovation, wireless systems, and emergency communications at military colleges and agencies. He is founder of a consulting group for emergency management, cybersecurity, IP, and communications.