Purim Shpiel: The following is a satirical article from The Jerusalem Post's annual parodic Purim page, The Jerusalem Roast. Enjoy!
By MICHAEL UNIVERSE ONE GIANT leap for Yiddishkeit: Rabbi Marsdechai Lunawitz is seen at the Chabad of the Moon. Rosh Chodesh celebrations to be held never.(photo credit: Marc Israel Spaceman/Flash770) The Jerusalem Roast, a satirical news section on The Jerusalem Post in honor of Purim (credit: JERUSALEM POST)
The Chabad-Lubavitch movement has officially opened a Chabad synagogue and outreach center on the Moon, causing the world’s largest Jewish organization to go out of this world.
“It’s one small step for man, one giant leap for Yiddishkeit,” said Rabbi Marsdechai Lunawitz as he opened the doors of the synagogue in the Sea of Tranquility before a press conference of astronaut journalists.
“We hope to provide all the normal services of any Chabad house, and to make true the phrase ‘In space, no one can hear you scream... About not having a minyan.’”
Having gone where no Chabad shaliach has gone before, the new outreach center has its work cut out for it. Already, it got off to a rough start when one shaliach nearly sparked an interstellar war by trying to wrap tefillin on a five-armed, 98-fingered visitor from Venus.
“How was I supposed to know he already put tefillin on this morning?” the shaliach told the press after tensions were cooled over some vegan space cholent – a requirement for kashrut, since the Moon is made of cheese.
A group of Chabad rabbis. (credit: David Dee Delgado/Reuters)
Rabbi Lunawitz reflects on the historic move
Regardless, Rabbi Lunawitz says he is determined to see Chabad’s presence grow across the Moon, and even expand throughout space.
“But honestly, I’m just surprised we got here before Starbucks did,” he told reporters. “Those things are everywhere!”
However, others on Earth are calling the entire event “a stunt” and “a hoax,” accusing Chabad of filming this new Moon synagogue at their secret studio in Area 770.
