Malki Ginsberg is a fitness trainer who owns a fitness studio in Kibbutz Dovrat. Her husband Eli, 42, was the commander of the LOTAR counter-terrorism special forces unit for the past the years and an officer in the 13th Fleet – Shayetet before that. He was killed in battle on October 8. He left Malki and their four children – Mika, 14; Uriya, 12; Razi, eight; and Tamari, five.
Where did the war catch you?
On Saturday morning, I woke up and saw a lot of unanswered calls on my and Eli's phones. I woke him up. On the phone, a friend told him to turn on the TV. Eli turned on the TV and in a moment he said to me, ‘Listen, there is a war.’ He had been released from the army for about a month and had stored away all his equipment. He asked me where everything was; he didn't even remember. He put on his uniform and said he had to go. I asked him why he was going, he was already released from duty. I told him to stay home and leave the work to others, but he simply said he couldn't and that he had to go. Within 15 minutes, he was out of the house. He didn't even have time to say goodbye to the children, who were sleeping. Neither he nor I nor anyone understood the magnitude of this thing.
Was Eli in touch with you?
From Saturday evening, we were not in contact. Eli was killed early Sunday morning.
How did you find out, and how did you tell the kids?
I was informed early Monday morning, but on Sunday I realized that something was happening but I didn't understand what; there was no one to talk to. I walked around all day with the feeling that something bad was happening. On Monday at 3:00 a.m., there was a knock on my door. I was informed that Eli was killed. From three to six in the morning, I sat and waited. I didn't want to wake the children. I wanted to give them a few hours of a good sleep before I turned their lives upside down. At 6:00 a.m., when I realized that people were talking about the situation on the news, I woke the children up and brought them into the bedroom. We sat on the bed, and I said, ‘I have difficult news to tell you: Abba was killed.’ We hugged and cried, and I said, ‘We are together. I am not leaving you. We will get through this together.’
How do you deal with a disaster the second time around?
Twenty years ago, Erez Ashkenazi, who was my partner and Eli's best friend from the crew in Shayetet, was killed in Gaza. As a result of that, I met Eli. That is a very big question. I think the very deep understanding is that life goes on. Eli was killed. I also told the children that if I could bring him back, I would change the world; but this is the situation. This is what happened to us, and from this we have to understand that we stayed alive and life is still long and good, and we will have to continue. We will continue together, and we promised that we will have a happy home and a warm home and a loving home, alongside the pain and longing for Eli we face because there is no choice. We continue step by step, sometimes up, sometimes down, with the understanding that we have no choice. We need and we want to live life.
What do you want people to know about Eli?
Eli was a huge person in every sense of the word. Physically he was a very big guy and full of presence; it was impossible to ignore him. At the same time, he was the most sensitive person, all one big heart. He was a warrior with every inch of his body. He was an amazing father and an amazing husband. He always managed to lift and strengthen and push forward everyone who stood in front of him. He was real and followed his truth in everything in life, certainly in the army. He was a man of truth and goodness, and that is what I want people to remember.
Eli dreamed so many dreams for himself and for the family. He was happy in the last month. He described in detail what life would look like after the army. He had a lot of big dreams. He wanted to do something related to security consulting, to continue his career abroad in the army.
Tell me about your fitness studio
Eli and I founded the studio with our four hands. It was my dream, and he made my dream come true in the little time he didn't have. He lived and breathed the dream with me and helped me make it come true. His absence is enormous. His whole life was ahead of him.
The Shikun and Binui company has been adopting the LOTAR Unit for about 11 years and shares in the family's grief over the loss of our friend Lt.-Col. Eli Ginsberg.
This article was written in cooperation with Malchi Ginsberg