Our Torah portion begins with the story of Jethro [a priest of Midian], father-in-law of Moses, who, after hearing about the splitting of the Red Sea and the war against Amalek, decided to join the people of Israel.
To do so, he journeyed to the wilderness along with his daughter, Zipporah, Moses’ wife, and their children, Gershom and Eliezer.
Upon Jethro’s arrival, Moses expressed his love for his father-in-law.
The question is: Why does the Torah detail the meeting between them and the grand festive meal prepared in honor of the guest?
Why does the Torah describe how a guest was honored?
“And Aaron and all the elders of Israel came to eat bread with Moses’ father-in-law...” (Exodus 18:12).
Our sages also discuss the details of this encounter in a way that seems puzzling. For example:
“‘And Moses went out to greet his father-in-law’ (Exodus 18:7). They said: Moses went out, Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and 70 elders of Israel, and after them all of Israel. And some say: even the Shechinah went out with them...
“‘And he bowed and kissed him’ (ibid.). I do not know who bowed to whom or who kissed whom. But when it says, ‘And they asked each other about their well-being’ (ibid.), who is referred to as ‘ish’ (a man)? Is it not Moses? As it is written, ‘And the man Moses was very humble...’ (Numbers 12:3)” (Mekhilta d’Rabbi Yishmael, Exodus 18:7).
This midrash emphasizes who honored whom and who kissed whom, which further sharpens the question: Why does the Torah highlight Jethro’s welcome and hospitality?
Another question arises regarding the placement of this story at the beginning of the parasha that describes the giving of the Torah. The question arises especially since, according to many commentators, Jethro arrived after the Torah was given.
Throughout the parasha, we see Moses expressing exceptional warmth and love toward Jethro, who left his home and homeland to join the people of Israel encamped in the barren desert. However, this only happened after Jethro, on his own initiative, decided to convert. Before that, Moses did not try to persuade his father-in-law to join him.
The Jewish people does not seek converts or eagerly recruit new members. On the contrary, when a non-Jew comes to convert, the beit din (Jewish court) attempts to dissuade him, painting in dark colors the weighty burden he seeks to take upon himself.
However, once he decides on his own to convert and does so with full knowledge and in accordance with Torah requirements, the Jewish people is commanded to love him even more than a parent loves a child. This is the greatest commandment of love in the Torah, repeated 36 times! This is because the life of a convert is difficult. He is not naturally protected by his surroundings, and his heart is vulnerable and fragile.
Thus, when Jethro came to take refuge under the wings of the Shechinah, Moses went out of his way to welcome him with warmth and love. The entire nation followed suit, embracing and honoring him, to make him feel welcome and to ease the pain of alienation and conversion.
The Torah elaborates on this story to teach us that good character traits – especially those expressed in accepting those who are different and understanding their pain and feelings – are a prerequisite for receiving the Torah.
“Derech eretz (proper behavior) precedes the Torah.”■
The writer is rabbi of the Western Wall and holy sites.